By Dr. Allen Novian
There are always reasons to take a new direction in life, whether it be the clothes you wear, the job you do, the treatment choices you make, or the relationship you are in. Looking outside the box can be scary and more than a little nerve wracking, but sometimes, it is the best choice.In relationships, there comes a time when a change is needed by one or both people. The question then, becomes, “Do we change together, or separately?”
Often, when trust has been broken in a marriage, people choose to change something in their lives apart from their spouse. This can take the form of an affair, and addiction, or sometimes a change in the way a person identifies themselves and/or their spouse. Coming to counseling is nothing more than saying, “A change has occurred, and we need to change again, together,” or, “A change is needed, but we don’t know how to do that without causing more hurt.”Often, couples do not ask for change until after the pain and hurt of betrayal and broken trust have become unbearable. In these cases, words like “Separation,” “Divorce,” and “It’s over” have often come out. It is always harder to heal a relationship once these words have come out, but it is not impossible.
Sometimes, the change in direction is not in a relationship, but in the handling of another situation, such as the treatment of ADD and ADHD.
When you find that the medication is either not working, or not an option, often it is hard to look in a new direction. “Is this a valid path toward healing? Will it actually help? I’ve tried everything else, and it hasn’t worked… why should I even bother?” You ask. The fact is that no one methodology works perfectly. While I am not a psychiatrist, and I do not prescribe medication, I do look at all aspects of treatment and give my honest opinion. I have found that I am different from the other Neurofeedback providers in San Antonio, because I don’t just hook you up and send you out. I use multiple modalities to help, involving any combination of therapies such as talk therapy, educational consulting (through my wife, who is a teacher), lifestyle, and family therapy as well as the neurofeedback.
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